So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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