Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
