I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
