Umm I'm too high to move.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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