hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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