I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
