She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
my shit smells like andre
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
