if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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