don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
