You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
