why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
