I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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