just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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