I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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