At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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