don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
how drunk are you?
Several
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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