hell yes lets make some ravioli
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
