Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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