i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
