I heard we made out
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
