My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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