Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
