shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
