why didn't you poke me back
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
