Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
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