This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
