dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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