its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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