with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
