I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
