Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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