Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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