Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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