I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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