I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just want to make out with him forever
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We need to get me chipped asap
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
