This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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