Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
