Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
