I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
