Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
