i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
