i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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