this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
