the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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