if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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