I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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