Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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