Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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