I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
