their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
