So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
