3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
