I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
