You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
