just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
