he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
