Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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