looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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